The Art of Giving Feedback: Why We Should Learn to Talk the Right Way
Feedback lies at the heart of what we do as an agency. We receive it from clients, share it constantly with one another, and gather it from our target audiences through research. However, despite communicating all day long, providing genuine feedback is a skill that takes time to master.
Let's start with a fictional example. It’s Thursday afternoon, and an internal review is taking place. A team has spent the last four days working hard on a concept. Then the feedback comes in: "Somehow, it all seems a bit... uninspired." Silence. One person stares at the monitor in disbelief while another mentally checks out for the weekend. What was intended as constructive criticism has completely demotivated the team. There are other ways to do this.
The approach: Nonviolent Communication
To avoid these dead ends, we did some digging. And discovered a method called Nonviolent Communication (NVC), that fosters respect and constructive communication. It improves teamwork and leads to better project outcomes. Therefore, it could benefit just about any company.
The 4 Steps of NVC
Marshall Rosenberg’s method is based on a simple yet effective structure. Instead of making accusations, we communicate our observations, feelings, and needs.
- Observation
The first step is observation. This involves describing what happened in a neutral way, without interpretation or judgement.- For example, not saying: “You ignored the meeting again.”
- But: “I noticed you didn’t attend the team meeting today. Did something important come up?”
- Feeling
The second step is about feelings. Here, you express what the previous observation triggered—using “I-messages.”- Example: “I’m worried because this exchange is important to me.”
- Example: “I’m worried because this exchange is important to me.”
- Need
It is only then that you identify the underlying need (e.g., clarity, support, or security).- Example: “I need certainty when planning so that we can meet the deadline.”
- Example: “I need certainty when planning so that we can meet the deadline.”
- Request
Last but not least is the request. It should be phrased in specific and positive terms — it is not a demand.- Example: “Could you please let me know by tomorrow whether you’ll be able to attend the next meeting?”
This approach is useful for formulating criticism more effectively. However, it can be applied to any other type of feedback just as easily. Breaking down our personal opinion — which may initially be vague or influenced by everyday frustrations — into these four steps inevitably clarifies our feelings. This helps us and the other person to understand exactly what the issue is.
Why a strong feedback culture is so important
As projects become more complex and development cycles become shorter, teams cannot afford to waste time on rework caused by misunderstandings. If criticism is perceived as an attack rather than constructive input, motivation drops—and so does the willingness to try new things. Companies that establish a genuine feedback culture can address problems directly and resolve them efficiently instead of sweeping them under the rug. And that’s good for business.
From the meeting room to the living room: GFK in private life
The best thing about Nonviolent Communication? It doesn’t stop at the end of the workday. Anyone who learns to express their needs rather than make accusations will quickly realize that its effectiveness works wonders at home, too. It’s not about suddenly becoming overly nice or avoiding conflict. On the contrary: NVC is a tool for communicating your needs honestly without losing sight of the other person in the process. This reduces stress and saves time, making for much better weekends.
